What is Domestic violence?

A pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain control over another intimate partner committed by a family member or intimate partner (among others).

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What are Signs of Abuse?

1. Your partner bullies, threatens, or controls you: ex) Accuses you of having an affair, blames you for abuse, criticizes you, tells you what to wear and how you should look, threatens to kill you or someone close to you, throws things or punches walls when angry, tells at you and makes you feel small.

2. Your partner controls your money: ex) Keeps cash and credit cards from you, puts you on an allowance and makes you explain every dollar you spend, keeps you from working whatever job you want, steals money from you or your friends, won’t let you have money for basic needs like food and clothes.

3. Your partner cuts you off from family and friends: ex) Keeps close tabs on where you go and whom you go with, makes you ask for an OK to see friends and family, embarrasses you in front of others, and it makes you want to avoid people.

4. Your partner physically abuses you: ex) Abandons you in a place you don’t know, attacks you with weapons, keeps you from eating, sleeping, or getting medical cars, Locks you in or out of your house, Punches, pushes, kicks, bites, pulls hair.

5. Your partner sexually abuses you: ex) Forces you to have sex, makes you dress in a sexual way, makes you feel like you owe them sex, tries to give you an STD, won’t use condoms or other birth control method.

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How relevant is this issue?

Domestic violence & abuse is a much more widespread issue than many may think. As many as 10 million individuals in the US alone are affected by it each year. 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men will experience physical &/ or sexual violence by partner or sexual violence by a non-partner sometime in their lives, leaving many with long-lasting mental & physical damage.

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Societal Normalization of DV

Much of the media addresses DV by using sexism, devaluation of women, and most importantly, violence against women and normalizing it through its comedic portrayal and glorification.The offender is often wrongly depicted in a positive manner and the victim in a negative one. Movements like the Me too are directed to tackle this normalization of domestic violence against women along with other issues that are very relevant to many women.

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How you can help out a friend who is in an abusive relationship

Ways that you can help them are by starting a conversation with them on a positive note, by being supportive, focusing on the unhealthy behaviors (DONOT label this as an abusive situation and don’t be too preachy), not blaming your friend, allowing them to make their own decision, and finally, offering and helping them in coming up with solutions.

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About

Hi. My name is Rabiha. I was motivated to make this website because I have personally been affected by domestic violence and it just gave me and my family a really hard time to just live a healthy and happy life. I think that everyone should know about domestic violence and should be able to recognize signs of abuse and etc.. I want to help others who might be in those situations, scared, and alone, just as my mom once was.

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